When the world is crying, what does one cry for help mean?
I've been struggling... really struggling. As is everyone else, which makes it difficult to reach out for help. Yes there are hotlines to call where you can speak to professionals, but in my experience, that always makes me feel worse. You'd rather talk to a friend that understands you, but what if they're in the same boat as you?
I've been thinking on this over and over again all morning. Everyone is struggling. Everyone is fighting a battle of some kind. Yes, some are worse off than others and I'm sure there are people reading this thinking I should just "suck it up" and be grateful. And the truth is, I am grateful. I'm grateful that I have this new life because if I were still living my old life... I'd be in hell. I'm grateful that, while I am unhappy with my job, I still have one. I'm grateful that I have a new job waiting for me at the end of this. I'm grateful for friends that check in.
But here's the thing... no matter how grateful you are for the good things, it is still possible (and allowed) to be upset about things. For someone like me, who has a lifetime of trauma to deal with, it's very difficult to be stuck with nothing but your thoughts day in and day out. You can try to fight off the dark thoughts, but they come creeping back. You want to revert back to old coping mechanisms... the not so good ones. You want to reach out to friends for help, but then feel bad for doing so... like a burden on their own suffering right now.
Because that's what's happening... everyone is going through it. Everyone is fighting a battle. It's hard to feel like you can reach out when you don't want to be selfish. How do you know when it's ok to say, "hey, got time to talk?" or just a simple, "I need some help." Asking for help is hard enough, but in times like this? It's easier not to.
- Danielle
I've been thinking on this over and over again all morning. Everyone is struggling. Everyone is fighting a battle of some kind. Yes, some are worse off than others and I'm sure there are people reading this thinking I should just "suck it up" and be grateful. And the truth is, I am grateful. I'm grateful that I have this new life because if I were still living my old life... I'd be in hell. I'm grateful that, while I am unhappy with my job, I still have one. I'm grateful that I have a new job waiting for me at the end of this. I'm grateful for friends that check in.
But here's the thing... no matter how grateful you are for the good things, it is still possible (and allowed) to be upset about things. For someone like me, who has a lifetime of trauma to deal with, it's very difficult to be stuck with nothing but your thoughts day in and day out. You can try to fight off the dark thoughts, but they come creeping back. You want to revert back to old coping mechanisms... the not so good ones. You want to reach out to friends for help, but then feel bad for doing so... like a burden on their own suffering right now.
Because that's what's happening... everyone is going through it. Everyone is fighting a battle. It's hard to feel like you can reach out when you don't want to be selfish. How do you know when it's ok to say, "hey, got time to talk?" or just a simple, "I need some help." Asking for help is hard enough, but in times like this? It's easier not to.
- Danielle
