2 years of writing and sharing has led to this…
October is upon us. The time of year when the air gets crisp, the leaves change, and everything just seems nicer. For most people, October means Halloween. Having never really been a big Halloween person, October tends to lean in a different direction for me. As I watch the leaves change, I get very reflective. I think about how life has changed and how each year something new is happening in my life (good and bad).
Let’s take a journey…
5 years ago I was planning a “wedding” with very little time (and no input from the groom).
4 years ago, in the middle of grieving the loss of my baby, my oldest cousin suddenly fell into a coma that he never came out of.
3 years ago as I was starting to get my life back, I fell in love with Hamilton and managed to win tickets to see it in Boston.
2 years ago I was beginning to find my stride in NYC, make friends, and spend all of my time at the Booth Theater seeing a certain improv show (coming back October 7!).
1 year ago I was finishing up the final edits on my book and getting it ready for publication.
Now here we are, 2021. My book has been out for almost a year and this blog has been running for 2 years (in some shape or form). When I started this blog I was really just looking for a place to air out my thoughts and work through things. I think that’s clear from the earlier posts. As time went on, I found that it was getting easier to find ways to tell my story. Having the blog went hand in hand with being able to write the book. Had I not created an outlet for myself and found a way to be more open about what I had been through, I don’t know if I ever would have found the courage to write the book at all.
Over the last 2 years of keeping this blog, I’ve found that my voice has even changed. I don’t know if it’s maturity (ha!) or something else, but I’ve found that I can express myself more clearly than I was ever able to do before. I definitely owe a lot of that to the FLS Academy since going through that course and being a part of the community absolutely helped me find the voice and inner courage that I needed.
So, what’s next? What does October 2021 look like? In all honesty, it’s beginning it look like a repeat of 2019… and I’m not complaining! My favorite people are coming back to Broadway and I cannot wait to get back inside the Booth where I can laugh and cry and cheer them on every night. But also, I think I may finally be in a place of peace. What do I mean by that exactly? Well, let’s see…
The last 5 years have really just been one major life change after another. While 2021 hasn’t been a picnic and I’ve battled one of the deepest, darkest depressions of my life, I’m starting to come out the other side and realize just how far I’ve come. It’s one of those “look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now” moments. I have so much to be grateful for and even when things are absolutely terrible, I still manage to find something, anything that I can be grateful for on any given day.
The world has tried to break me. People have beaten me down (both metaphorically and not), tried to steal my joy, and leave me with nothing. Somehow I keep going though. I always get back up again. I always manage to find that strength to say, “I’m better than this,” and dust myself off for the next battle. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know that I’m ready to keep fighting.
Thank you to all who have followed along this crazy wild ride for the last 2 years. To those just joining the fun, welcome! This blog isn’t going anywhere any time soon so there’s still more shenanigans to be had.
- Danielle
