It's healthy to freak out...
This is not scientific, but simply my own assessment.
Anytime I have a "freak out" or hit a really depressive episode, I tend to bounce back stronger. It's a bizarre phenomenon but seems to happen each time. I'll feel absolutely horrible, sulk for a few days, and then it's like something clicks back together in my brain and I can see the world a little more clearly. It could be the years and years of therapy... it could simply be how I'm wired. I'm not sure anyone truly knows for sure (I sure as hell don't).
Now, I don't like being one of those "your struggles make you stronger" people, because it's not always true. Yes, some people are able to draw strength from their past, but others can never overcome it. A few weeks ago, my therapist asked me how I was able to maintain such a positive outlook with all the trauma I've experienced and the only answer I had was, "What else is there to do?" However, after this last week, I see that I do crumble and become negative and get to the point where I don't see any hope.
Why does this happen? Because I'm HUMAN. It's that simple. I could be the most miserable person every minute of every day... it would be easy with the life I've had. I could try to put it all behind me and just be "Mary Sunshine". But the reality is the balance of the two. We can't walk around with rose-colored glasses all the time, but we can't live under a black cloud either. Now, I'm not saying that you can't be depressed and that people don't have serious problems that warrant it. I'm simply talking about myself and my own experiences.
So when I say it's "healthy to freak out" I'm speaking to myself really. I'm telling myself that these setbacks, bad days, and low points are perfectly ok. I'm also making sure that I remind myself that, despite what I think, I actually do have a support system. I've spent much of my life without one that I tend to forget the new people that have entered my life (hello again, twitterican friends💓).
I'll end with something I tend to come back to a lot any time I need a reminder...
-Danielle
