How do you keep going when everything is telling you to stop?
Yesterday, a good friend of mine responded to a tweet with the following:
"A while ago you retweeted this “what would be my Ted talk” thing. I think I want to hear you speak about this. For real. How you keep going, why you keep going and how you fight for staying true to yourself. And struggle... I think we all could learn smth from you"
This was in response to tweeting my frustration about having been on the job hunt for more or less 8 years. Well, if people are interested in hearing how I keep going, then I might as well tell them. I now bring you the saga of Danielle and the never-ending job applications.
*please note that all company names are being omitted*
When I graduated from college in 2006, I had a job. I had been working at a clothing store for the last 2 summers and just continued there when I got home from school. I never liked it... hated it actually... but it was a job. I was 22 and while I didn't have many bills at the time, having money is always a good thing. By the time Spring 2007 rolled around, I was basically done and started looking for other work. I found out about a portrait studio in another mall and thought, "Well that makes sense!" I did graduate with a degree in photography after all. I applied, interviewed, and got it right away. I began working there in June 2007.
For the first few weeks, working both jobs, it was basically a nightmare. I had this one job that I was really enjoying, but didn't feel I could sever ties with the first. While on a vacation in early July, my boss from the clothing store called me about her frustrations with my schedule... so I gave my 2 weeks notice right then and there.
When I got back from vacation, she and I sat down and she proposed an alternative to me leaving: stay on but only help once a week with shipments and store layout (aka help unpack boxes and switch over signage when necessary). It didn't sound that bad so I said yes. I stayed for another month after that, but during that month she took advantage of my time. Frequently putting me on the register to cover lunch breaks and not sticking to the deal that we had laid out. Since I had the studio job to fall back on (and was picking up more hours there anyway), I took it upon myself to write her a note and left it at the store. The note basically said, "You've taken advantage of my time. I'm done..." but in nicer language.
That night I received a phone call from her saying that she received my "insubordinate note" and that I "was fired." My response? "I already gave my 2 weeks a month ago so... bye."
And that was the end of that.
It is now August 2007 and I am happily working my one job at the portrait studio. I also got my first car the beginning of that month so I started picking up even more shifts because cars cost money. The studio was crazy and busy all the time, but I liked it. I was having fun.
In the spring of 2008 I decided I needed a 2nd job again. I applied to a local furniture store, interviewed, and got the job. I began working there in June 2008. For the next year, I worked both of these jobs all the time. There were many weeks where I would work 12 days in a row with 2-3 double days. It was insanity, but I was making good money so I didn't mind. Cut to May 2009...
I receive a text message from my boss at the studio asking me to come in the next morning... she needed to talk to me about something. I had requested the weekend off because a friend was visiting so immediately I thought, "Something is wrong!" And boy was I right. It turned out that the company decided to switch things up staffing wise and make everyone a full-time employee. This meant that anyone who didn't have perfect availability was to be laid off. Because of my other job, I didn't have complete open availability so I was one of the ones singled out by the DM. They told me that if I stayed through my anniversary date I would get more severance pay (money = good)... so I did. My last day was set for June 20, 2009.
On June 16, 2009, I went in to start my weekly Tuesday night shift at the furniture store. Before I even had a chance to sit down, my boss calls me into his office. Long story short: last one in, first one out... company lay offs. Again, I was to receive severance pay and they apologized as they knew the situation that was happening at the studio, but I was still out. In 4 days I went from 2 jobs... to no jobs.
For the next year and a half I went from unemployment to temp jobs and back again many times. I'll just do a quick rundown on this one:
August '09 - December '09: temp job (cell phone store)
mid-January '10 - mid-February '10: temp job (mortgage company)
mid-March '10 - mid-April '10: hired for a job and location closed (selling cable & internet; no relocation)
mid-May '10 - early September '10: hired for a job that simply didn't work out (sign company)
mid-September '10 - mid-October '10: temp job (insurance)
On November 1, 2010 I was hired as a 6 week temp at my current company. It was only supposed to be for those 6 weeks filling in at reception while the current receptionist helped elsewhere. On my 2nd day, I was asked if I would be interested in a customer service job. With my history and desperation for a job... I said yes. For those first 6 weeks I was training for customer service while still doing the receptionist job I was initially hired for. By February 8, 2011, I was hired full-time.
In March 2012, while on vacation, I received a text from a friend saying that she had just given her 2 weeks notice. Actually she said, "Don't be mad at me but..." I was a little upset, but happy for her at the same time. I still had my other customer service buddy so I knew it would be ok... or so I thought. The following week when I was back in the office, the other friend gave her 2 weeks. Now they would both be leaving within a week of each other. My boss actually pulled me aside that day (we went for a walk) to talk to me about how I was feeling and basically begged me not to leave as well. This is when the process officially began.
From the moment they both left, I began looking for work elsewhere. I was unhappy and knew that it wasn't what I wanted to be doing. At first I started applying to anything and everything to simply get me out. I even looked out of state. I received a few interviews, both on the phone and in person, but nothing ever panned out. In April 2013, while on vacation in San Francisco, I interviewed for a position at the SF office for this company. I thought it went well... they basically seemed like they would hire me on the spot... but I never heard anything. It completely fell through. I have my suspicious as to what happened, but it's all moot at this point.
At the same time, the Boston Marathon bombing happened. This sparked many things in many people throughout Massachusetts, but for me it was like a wake-up call. I knew I needed to be doing something more. By September 2013, I would begin my MS in Human Services. While completing my Masters over the next 2 years, I continued to apply for jobs. My focus shifted slightly to find things more closely aligned with my course of study, but I never really stopped. Again, I received some interviews but nothing ever came of them. By June 2015 I had completed my degree and was still working for the company.
Over the next 3 years I continued to apply, continued to put myself out there. Was it a constant every single day kind of thing? No. Why? Because the ex was frequently out of work and I needed the job security to ensure we could still pay our bills... but the need to leave, that drive, never left.
In September 2018, I began applying to jobs in NY (we all know this story). I started with applying to jobs that I wanted and ended up settling for an office transfer just so that I could get here. Getting to NY was the goal... this job was simply a means to an end. But again, that need to leave never went away. I knew in my soul this wasn't to be a permanent thing. I started working at the NY office in January 2019 and by the spring I was already applying to jobs.
I look at things every day. I get job alerts, send out resumes, and keep my fingers constantly crossed. Over the summer I went through 4 rounds of interviews with one organization... I did not get that position. I've had phone interviews with other places... and then been ghosted. But I never stopped. Why? Well, let's try and lay this out...
I know I have a bigger purpose in life. There is something inside me that strives to help people, be courteous, and basically just be a good person. I want to go home at the end of the day feeling proud of the work I did. Unfortunately, except for when I worked at the studio, I've never had that. I've never felt a sense of purpose in my work. Lin frequently says in interviews that the thing that keeps you up at night or bugs you in the shower is the thing that drives you. That's what it is for me. I don't go home at night thinking about my current work. I leave it behind me the minute I get up from my desk. The things I think about are how to make the world better, how to help those who need it, and the things that bring me joy.
What brings me joy? Music, theatre, books, animals, my friends. Yes, working here is steady income, but why should I sacrifice my happiness for a paycheck? That's basically what I've been doing for 9 years, but why? That's what keeps me going. That's what makes me never give up. Every rejection that comes back, every unanswered email is another spark in the fire of my soul. I can't ever give up because I know deep down that something is out there for me.
I moved to NY because I felt like something was calling me here... that something was waiting for me. I've been here a year and I still feel that. I feel something pulling and tugging at me saying, "This way! Over here!" I have a purpose, it's just a matter of everything lining up at the right time.
- Danielle
"A while ago you retweeted this “what would be my Ted talk” thing. I think I want to hear you speak about this. For real. How you keep going, why you keep going and how you fight for staying true to yourself. And struggle... I think we all could learn smth from you"
This was in response to tweeting my frustration about having been on the job hunt for more or less 8 years. Well, if people are interested in hearing how I keep going, then I might as well tell them. I now bring you the saga of Danielle and the never-ending job applications.
*please note that all company names are being omitted*
When I graduated from college in 2006, I had a job. I had been working at a clothing store for the last 2 summers and just continued there when I got home from school. I never liked it... hated it actually... but it was a job. I was 22 and while I didn't have many bills at the time, having money is always a good thing. By the time Spring 2007 rolled around, I was basically done and started looking for other work. I found out about a portrait studio in another mall and thought, "Well that makes sense!" I did graduate with a degree in photography after all. I applied, interviewed, and got it right away. I began working there in June 2007.
For the first few weeks, working both jobs, it was basically a nightmare. I had this one job that I was really enjoying, but didn't feel I could sever ties with the first. While on a vacation in early July, my boss from the clothing store called me about her frustrations with my schedule... so I gave my 2 weeks notice right then and there.
When I got back from vacation, she and I sat down and she proposed an alternative to me leaving: stay on but only help once a week with shipments and store layout (aka help unpack boxes and switch over signage when necessary). It didn't sound that bad so I said yes. I stayed for another month after that, but during that month she took advantage of my time. Frequently putting me on the register to cover lunch breaks and not sticking to the deal that we had laid out. Since I had the studio job to fall back on (and was picking up more hours there anyway), I took it upon myself to write her a note and left it at the store. The note basically said, "You've taken advantage of my time. I'm done..." but in nicer language.
That night I received a phone call from her saying that she received my "insubordinate note" and that I "was fired." My response? "I already gave my 2 weeks a month ago so... bye."
And that was the end of that.
It is now August 2007 and I am happily working my one job at the portrait studio. I also got my first car the beginning of that month so I started picking up even more shifts because cars cost money. The studio was crazy and busy all the time, but I liked it. I was having fun.
In the spring of 2008 I decided I needed a 2nd job again. I applied to a local furniture store, interviewed, and got the job. I began working there in June 2008. For the next year, I worked both of these jobs all the time. There were many weeks where I would work 12 days in a row with 2-3 double days. It was insanity, but I was making good money so I didn't mind. Cut to May 2009...
I receive a text message from my boss at the studio asking me to come in the next morning... she needed to talk to me about something. I had requested the weekend off because a friend was visiting so immediately I thought, "Something is wrong!" And boy was I right. It turned out that the company decided to switch things up staffing wise and make everyone a full-time employee. This meant that anyone who didn't have perfect availability was to be laid off. Because of my other job, I didn't have complete open availability so I was one of the ones singled out by the DM. They told me that if I stayed through my anniversary date I would get more severance pay (money = good)... so I did. My last day was set for June 20, 2009.
On June 16, 2009, I went in to start my weekly Tuesday night shift at the furniture store. Before I even had a chance to sit down, my boss calls me into his office. Long story short: last one in, first one out... company lay offs. Again, I was to receive severance pay and they apologized as they knew the situation that was happening at the studio, but I was still out. In 4 days I went from 2 jobs... to no jobs.
For the next year and a half I went from unemployment to temp jobs and back again many times. I'll just do a quick rundown on this one:
August '09 - December '09: temp job (cell phone store)
mid-January '10 - mid-February '10: temp job (mortgage company)
mid-March '10 - mid-April '10: hired for a job and location closed (selling cable & internet; no relocation)
mid-May '10 - early September '10: hired for a job that simply didn't work out (sign company)
mid-September '10 - mid-October '10: temp job (insurance)
On November 1, 2010 I was hired as a 6 week temp at my current company. It was only supposed to be for those 6 weeks filling in at reception while the current receptionist helped elsewhere. On my 2nd day, I was asked if I would be interested in a customer service job. With my history and desperation for a job... I said yes. For those first 6 weeks I was training for customer service while still doing the receptionist job I was initially hired for. By February 8, 2011, I was hired full-time.
In March 2012, while on vacation, I received a text from a friend saying that she had just given her 2 weeks notice. Actually she said, "Don't be mad at me but..." I was a little upset, but happy for her at the same time. I still had my other customer service buddy so I knew it would be ok... or so I thought. The following week when I was back in the office, the other friend gave her 2 weeks. Now they would both be leaving within a week of each other. My boss actually pulled me aside that day (we went for a walk) to talk to me about how I was feeling and basically begged me not to leave as well. This is when the process officially began.
From the moment they both left, I began looking for work elsewhere. I was unhappy and knew that it wasn't what I wanted to be doing. At first I started applying to anything and everything to simply get me out. I even looked out of state. I received a few interviews, both on the phone and in person, but nothing ever panned out. In April 2013, while on vacation in San Francisco, I interviewed for a position at the SF office for this company. I thought it went well... they basically seemed like they would hire me on the spot... but I never heard anything. It completely fell through. I have my suspicious as to what happened, but it's all moot at this point.
At the same time, the Boston Marathon bombing happened. This sparked many things in many people throughout Massachusetts, but for me it was like a wake-up call. I knew I needed to be doing something more. By September 2013, I would begin my MS in Human Services. While completing my Masters over the next 2 years, I continued to apply for jobs. My focus shifted slightly to find things more closely aligned with my course of study, but I never really stopped. Again, I received some interviews but nothing ever came of them. By June 2015 I had completed my degree and was still working for the company.
Over the next 3 years I continued to apply, continued to put myself out there. Was it a constant every single day kind of thing? No. Why? Because the ex was frequently out of work and I needed the job security to ensure we could still pay our bills... but the need to leave, that drive, never left.
In September 2018, I began applying to jobs in NY (we all know this story). I started with applying to jobs that I wanted and ended up settling for an office transfer just so that I could get here. Getting to NY was the goal... this job was simply a means to an end. But again, that need to leave never went away. I knew in my soul this wasn't to be a permanent thing. I started working at the NY office in January 2019 and by the spring I was already applying to jobs.
I look at things every day. I get job alerts, send out resumes, and keep my fingers constantly crossed. Over the summer I went through 4 rounds of interviews with one organization... I did not get that position. I've had phone interviews with other places... and then been ghosted. But I never stopped. Why? Well, let's try and lay this out...
I know I have a bigger purpose in life. There is something inside me that strives to help people, be courteous, and basically just be a good person. I want to go home at the end of the day feeling proud of the work I did. Unfortunately, except for when I worked at the studio, I've never had that. I've never felt a sense of purpose in my work. Lin frequently says in interviews that the thing that keeps you up at night or bugs you in the shower is the thing that drives you. That's what it is for me. I don't go home at night thinking about my current work. I leave it behind me the minute I get up from my desk. The things I think about are how to make the world better, how to help those who need it, and the things that bring me joy.
What brings me joy? Music, theatre, books, animals, my friends. Yes, working here is steady income, but why should I sacrifice my happiness for a paycheck? That's basically what I've been doing for 9 years, but why? That's what keeps me going. That's what makes me never give up. Every rejection that comes back, every unanswered email is another spark in the fire of my soul. I can't ever give up because I know deep down that something is out there for me.
I moved to NY because I felt like something was calling me here... that something was waiting for me. I've been here a year and I still feel that. I feel something pulling and tugging at me saying, "This way! Over here!" I have a purpose, it's just a matter of everything lining up at the right time.
- Danielle
