A final word
Sometimes the best way to move on from something is to make a final statement on the matter. After this post, I will continue to use this blog to spread awareness, work through my own shit, and help others if they need it, but I will no longer stew over the actions of someone unworthy of my time and energy
Over the last year I’ve learned that words are my superpower. Through words I’ve been able to express myself in ways I never imagined and tell my story as I see fit. Now it’s time I use that superpower to make one last statement.
All my life I’ve been underestimated. People have used what they perceived as weakness against me and because of that I learned to internalize a lot and not rely on others to help me through anything. By the time I reached 25 years old, I was broken and believed myself to be beyond repair.
I met you at one of the lowest points of my life. You could see that I was broken and thought you could use that to your advantage… which you did. Slowly over the years you whittled me down to nothing that after 9 years I could no longer trust my own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. You made me feel as though I wasn’t worthy of love and that it was something earned through “good behavior.”
You know what’s true and what happened during those years, whether you wish to admit it to yourself or not. Were things left out of the book as a whole? Of course, because it is my story. At the end of the day, it’s about me, my journey, and my life. I wrote from a place of honesty and told my story to the best of my ability. It took me a long time to be able to even trust my own memories, but once I could, I knew the reality of what happened.
Your actions in recent months have proven, even more, that my decision 3 years ago was the best I could have made for myself. I’ve lost too many years and too much time devoting my thoughts and feelings to you and worrying about how you might react to something. No more. I built this life from practically nothing and when I look around I’m proud of the life I’ve created for myself. If you feel the need to hold on to something that isn’t there, that’s your decision. But know this… you no longer hold power over me.
This will be my final word on this matter. After today, I will continue living my life for me. I will continue to fill that life with people who care about me and love me for who I am, not what they think they can mold me into. When all is said in done, I know what is true, what I’ve been through, and the toll it’s taken on me. However, I will no longer let that rule me. I’m not afraid anymore. I am closing this chapter and I’m ready to start a new one.
I want to thank all my readers and friends who have stood by me over these last few months while I grappled with the reality of this situation. The blog isn’t going away, I promise, but I needed to make this statement as a turning point.
Thank you all for your continued support. It means the world to me.
- Danielle
