Love what you love
“We all change, when you think about it, we're all different people; all through our lives, and that's okay, that's good, you've gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this, not one day, I swear. I will always remember when The Doctor was me.”
I’ve recently finished watching Doctor Who (the revived series, aka New Who) for the very first time. I always knew that I would like it, but I wasn’t expecting how much it would consume me. When I was completely caught up on the most recent season and had no episodes left to watch, I felt accomplished having watched all 12 seasons in just about 2 months, but I felt something else also - a sense of loss.
I’ve written once before about my connection to another TV show and finishing Doctor Who gave me a similar kind of feeling. Why? Allow me to explain…
When I was a teenager, I watched a lot of TV. This may not seem like a big deal, but follow along with me for a minute. I spent a lot of time at home by myself and watching TV became my comfort. The people on the shows became my friends (but not in a crazy Cable Guy kind of way). TV was a means of escape from the life I had and a way for my imagination to wander instead of focusing on everything that was hell about my life. By the time I got to college, and had basically zero friends, this continued. I had specific shows that I watched every single day. My VCR was set to record at certain times (yes kids, you used to have to set your VCR to record your shows). It became an almost instinctive ritual.
When I met the ex, he was very critical of this behavior. If he came over and I ignored him to finish watching whatever I was watching, he got mad and would say things like, “Why is that show more important than me?” He frequently criticized the things I watched and slowly but surely I stopped watching most of the things I enjoyed. My TV habits in the years I was with him did a 180. Anything saved on the DVR was so that he could watch it later. Anything I wanted to watch (and hide from him to avoid being taken down a peg), I had to do on my phone at work. This thing I loved that had been my friend and comfort for so long was taken away.
As a result, I missed a lot. Things that I knew about, and over the last 3 years have started to enjoy, passed me by because I couldn’t speak up about wanting to watch them. I’ve crammed so much into the last 3 years and every time the thing, whatever it is, becomes all-consuming.
When Hamilton found its way to me in the summer of ‘18, every other word out of my mouth was Hamilton. I would come home from work and spend hours watching YouTube videos. I lived and breathed it.
Earlier that year I decided to watch all of the MCU movies. I’d always been a comic book movie fan and had missed everything. I managed to watch every single one so that when Infinity War came out, I was not only caught up but I knew absolutely everything one could learn so quickly.
Now with Doctor Who I’ve been doing the same thing. I finished the series a few days ago and I’ve been spending hours upon hours watching videos, interviews, countdown things… literally anything I could consume. I even bought myself a David Tennant 10th Doctor funko pop.
Because the 10th Doctor is the best Doctor and I don’t care what you say.
Why does any of this matter? Why do my weird TV and movie watching habits mean anything at all?
Someone I follow on Twitter said something the other day that really made me think about all of it. She said, “It’s weird to complain about another person liking something you didn’t. If there’s a book or movie you didn’t like, there will always be someone who did. That doesn’t mean they have bad taste. It just means their taste is different from yours. And whatever’s wrong with that?”
I spent nearly a decade having the things I watched, read, and listened to scrutinized. I’ve spent the last 3 years finding new love in things that I had missed and revisiting those that I had forgotten about. Unless the thing that someone likes is hurting you or someone else, it’s ok to let them like the thing. We all have different tastes. Hell, I watched a certain “classic” movie over the weekend and I absolutely hated it. Unfortunately, I feel as though I can’t publicly say that because people will jump down my throat for having a difference of opinion.
You’re always going to like something that someone else doesn’t. Don’t let their hate for it diminish your love for it. Love the thing because of the joy it brings you. We all have things that have been a comfort to us over the years. Things that we turn to when we’re sad or need a pick-me-up. Things that remind us of a time when the thing we once loved just made us feel better. I have certain albums that I hardly ever listen to, but they got me through college. When I listen to them now, I remember why those songs resonated with me so much.
To quote myself…
“I finally had the freedom to choose. I was finally able to say, ‘I like this thing because I like it,’ instead of, ‘I hate this thing because someone else does.’”
Love what you love because you love it. Let it consume you. Buy those collectibles, read every article, watch every video. We should be allowed to get wrapped up in the things that make us feel whole.
- Danielle
