Make new friends but keep the old...

We all know the song... it's an elementary school classic. You sing it in a round when your 5 and think it's the coolest thing. But let's be real, actually making new friends AND keeping the old isn't as easy as all that.

Making friends when you're younger is pretty easy. Maybe they're your neighbors or classmates. Maybe your closest friends are cousins and siblings. Whatever the case may be, friends when you're a kid are those that you're placed in closest proximity to. When you get older and can choose your own friends, they become those that are in the same clubs as you... similar interests and whatnot. The same is true for when we leave childhood behind and go to college. You're discovering yourself and, in that process, find the people you want to associate with. Once college is over and you're out in the world, making new friends becomes a little harder. Again, maybe it's a neighbor or a coworker, but if you haven't been able to hold onto those you've already made, finding people to be your friend can be hard... at least in my experience.

Most people I consider my friends are either people that I've been friends with since high school (or before) or those I've met in recent years. For the most part, when I use the word "friend" I'm almost always referring to someone that I've met online. Does this make them less of a friend? Absolutely not! Some of the best people I know I've met online and maybe haven't even met in person.

I've had friends at jobs but once you leave that job the friendship tends to fizzle. It's hard to consider "work friends" real friends. Yes, you spend more time with them than other people in your life simply because of the number of hours you spend together. But when you go home at night or on the weekends, would you call these people? Would you reach out to them if you needed someone to talk to? Usually not.

I've found in recent months that I'm not alone in being an adult that doesn't make friends easily. It's awkward. How do you find that common bond that makes a friendship bloom? It really is a hard thing to do. I've yet to be able to figure this out which could be why I've made so few friends here in NY.

So how do we make friends? How do you make a friendship that will last? Is it a matter of taking that leap to say, "hey let's hang out," and risk them saying no? Sometimes it feels like making friends as an adult is like dating... which is just scary since I haven't figured that out either.

- Danielle