The New and Improved Lorelai Gilmore
Oh wait... that's not my name. But the sentiment remains the same.
I've always been known as a certain kind of person, and I've always been especially identified by my hair. From the time I was little, I was my hair. It's always been the first thing that people noticed about me... hair first, name later. It's just who I was, but as I embrace this new life, I wanted to be able to really be the person that I feel I am inside. Now I feel as though my outside truly reflects that.
For the first time in 36 years, I feel as though I've fully embraced the person that I want to be. I've mentioned before that I enjoy my life, but it's more than that now. Writing this book, as emotional as it's been, is allowing me to tap into things about myself that I'd never really thought about before... or at least haven't thought about for a while. 2 years ago I started my new life and it's fully taken me this entire time to come into my own.
Yesterday I did something that I've been wanting to do for a long time, but have either too nervous or hesitant to do. Now, though, I think it's what I needed to finally give myself that final push into who I am. What did I do?
I dyed my hair! As a natural redhead, I've always been fully against dying my hair while at the same time jealous of those that do. I've thought for years about putting colored streaks in my hair, but absolutely terrified of it. Now, in this pandemic world, I figured, "If not now, when?" If I don't try it now while I'm stuck at home, then I'll never do it.
As I held the bottle in my hand yesterday I was honestly so scared. I've done so many things in the last 2 years to separate myself from the person I was in order to become the person I want to be, but I felt like doing this would finally bury that previous version. Once that first drop of dye hit my hair, though, it was like.. freedom! I know it sounds crazy that dying your hair can have such an impact, but for me it really does.
I don't have to be any one singular thing... no one does. I was texting with a friend yesterday and said, "This is the new me! Purple-haired and vegan!" It may sound silly, but it felt good to say. I buried the old me and the new me was born.
If you feel like there's something holding you back from being the person you want to be, confront it. What is it that's holding you back? Is it something you can change? Is it internal or external? Is it both? For me, I think I've been changing internally for so long that finally doing so externally allowed my true self to shine through.
Embrace who you are. Love you are. Let your true self shine.
- DB
