Welcome to the blog!
Everything you’re about to read is based on my own experience. It may be a personal take on something, a way to cope, or a helpful anecdote. Read on and let me know if there’s anything you’d like me to write about.
Featured Posts
Bloom where you’re planted
Recently, my boss tasked me with something that, I’ll be honest, threw me for a loop when she first said it. You see, every week we have a check-in where we talk about work, sure, but also just check in on life. Because I have so many medical things going on at the moment, most of our check-ins are about that. The last few weeks at work, however, have been pretty hectic so when we sat down this past week and she said, “How are you feeling?” my response was, “Physically or mentally?”
A lot can change in a year…
Oh, hi! I know it’s been a while and some people may be wondering if I was ever going to write again. Me… I’m some people. If I’m being fully honest, I didn’t think I would. Activating that side of my brain has been very difficult over the last year. Even my photography has suffered (but that’s a conversation for another day). I could blame it on depression, but I truly think that I actually write better when I’m going through something. I think, more than anything, it’s been a combination of 1) lack of motivation, and 2) simply not wanting to admit what I was going through. Maybe I’m getting a little ahead of myself, though. Let’s start with a recap, shall we?
Depression & Unemployment: a bad combination
I’ve been trying to find the words for this post for literally the last month. Lots of things are still up in the air, but maybe writing this out will help me cope.
A little over a month ago I lost my job. There are so many things that went wrong from very early on after accepting that position and it really never got better. First of all, I took a significant pay cut and even though I was told during my interview that there would be opportunities for overtime, I was denied it when I asked. For 7 months I endured one of the most toxic work environments of my life. This was made harder by the fact that I actually, for the first time ever, truly enjoyed my job. I liked what I was doing, liked the majority of the people that I worked with, and didn’t really dread going in every day. In all honesty, there was only 1 major problem…
My boss.
I have no expectations, just to be here in the present…
Sometimes everything falls into place in such a serendipitous way that it feels like a dream. The stars align, everything feels right, and you can truly just live in the moment.
As followers of this blog will know, this past Saturday was the 5 year anniversary of when I lost my baby. Saturday was also the day that I got to see my favorite band for the first time in 4 years. When they announced their summer tour dates and I saw they were playing relatively close by on August 27th, I knew there was no way I could pass that up. It simply seemed meant to be (even if I had to trek out to Long Island for it!). A few things occurred to me as the day went on…
Vacation - had to get away
I have a feeling this post is going to be quite the journey (no pun intended) so let’s dive right in.
This past weekend, I went on the first vacation of my entire life where every single thing was decided by me. Now, this may not sound like a big deal, but hear me out. I’ve traveled quite a bit in my life. From a very young age, I was going to Florida almost every year to see my grandmother. When my dad moved to England, I would go visit him for a week every summer and we traveled around. Traveling and vacations are not a new thing for me. I’ve always loved to travel and the fact that I hadn’t been on a true vacation in nearly 7 years was really taking its toll on me.
1 Year Later
I have so many posts that I’ve started and either haven’t had the motivation to finish, couldn’t find the right words, or simply forgot about. This one, however, needs to be written.
**trigger warning: self-harm and suicidal thoughts
1 year.
Archive
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Archive
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